Computer and Me

Class IX....sunny, winter afternoon and 2 days to go for christmas...

So what is the great gift this year... me and my sis wondered.... Some possible ones were on cards and we had guessed a few plausible gifts from dad considering the fact that not so non-verbal cues were constantly being hurled at him ;)

Finally our wishes were granted and we opened a brand new desktop.. Our first personal computer for just the two of us....
The excitement was all over ...... being extremely illiterate in comp usage (imagine to have learnt opening and using a word doc through memorized instructions in class 6 ;) ) with experience limited to playing games and surfing tits and bits,,, this was paradise for us.......

2 years later .. comp was a part and parcel of our existence,,, studying at IIT made it so indispensable and so addictive that life couldnt be imagined without it... I remember having most of the fights with my sis over it.... Chats, googling, random searches and not to forget the elixir - the very own IIT LAN to download movies, songs, sitcoms and sometimes precious reading material......

And then came IIM, the comp here was a virtual classroom,,, everything on earth through that one single comp... It was here through dbab that I learnt how one single device with a net connection can become the strongest linkage to the outside world and by outside i meant - my next door neighbours, my groupmates/ friends/ classmates living 2 blocks away, my teachers/RAs sending us quiz notifications..... That one single thing was the ultimate lifeline, the beacon of survival.....

And now 1.25 years into the job, the comp remains the single most powerful ammunition in my hand,,, but like all comp users, I have also moved up the heirarchy of addiction..... The computer commands now control my life..... I so many times do a 'Ctrl-Z' in real world wishing the virtual effect but alas thats not to happen... extra salt in the curry... wish there was a 'Ctrl-Z'; took the wrong turn on the road, Oh why no Ctrl-Z; I just wrote thisrakhi letter on the paper for cousin 1.. can I Ctrl-C it on the next page..... and the list goes on and on... when I have remembered those comp commands....

And so looks like thats it.... 5 more years with 12 hrs a day devoted to comp, I am sure gonna be a 'Computeroid' or a maniac wishing to merge the virtual and the real world.... HELP !!!!

Voices!!!

Voice 1: This space has been neglected - neglected of the time, the space, the love and the attention that it demands.....

Voice 2: But so have been the nuemrous other passions; painting, dancing, reading, poetry, travelling, hearing to random pieces; watching and what not..... The love for banalties, the appreciation for insignificant non-entities.... all is lost

Voice 1: Life goes on and it will definitely continue to go on... but how it goes, where it goes and why it goes should be paused, thought and mused upon..... and if one realizes that it isnt the most optimal route/ path that one is taking then it should be changed/ contrived/ modified to remove all sources of dissonance and potential conflicts/ dissapointments........

Voice 2: AGREED.. the last paragraph is true... True when you are giving GYAAN or those wonderful words of wisdom which are seldom followed....... Life continues to go on... the inertia to change its course is too large to be even slightly tweaked....

Voice 1: No... it isn't so... people dream and those who dream big aren't worried to change the course.... They know what they want from life.... a lot of heartburn, fight within youself and with the outer world.... They don't let the life go on ... they change it....

Voice 2: Aah... the change makers; the torch bearers.... They are a selfish lot.... They see there dreams, work towards shaping them into reality, an effort to convert a mirage into real life saving elixir.. but what about those who make the dreams of these people their own dreams.... the passion adopted/ shared to support their loved ones.... and in the process curtailing their own dreams, passions and the nectar of life

Voice 1: Now this is prejudice.... you are doing that because you love the person, Its a choice you make since the feeling of love encompasses all your needs, dreams and passions,,,, Now don't get me started on the strength of love..... Your dreams are aligned because you share a bigger emotion ... a more powerful one....

Voice 2: Hmmmm....... Love..... but what is the point when the greatest love of your love is his/her dream and your love is nothing before that; Its a non-entity, an emotion not valued.....Its a waste, a humiliation, a disgrace to the choices that you have made.....

Voice 1: SO??? The choice lies before you... Why be pensive / gloomy about it... let it not matter what you think matters.....

Voice 2: Yes.... Let it not matter what matters......