This post is being written with a sense of disappointment, with utter grief and pity on my own self.....The feelings that encompass me now is that of being a handicap, or someone who is robbed away of whatever iota bit of talent and treasure she had....
I had fervently worked for 6 odd months to improve my vocab and my repertoire of words while appearing for the CAT examination..... Prior to that, I could have been labeled as someone who was decent in English but lacked the finesse to talk or participate among the elite knowledge holders of this great language (no pun intended.... it indeed is great!!!).....
I thought I did decent in these 6 months and added huge number of words to my short assemblage.... I used to pride at throwing away unheard, misfit words at my sis amidst day to day banters, chats and also spats..... (And she was might impressed by it... and we would inadvertently end the mighty argument that we would be having...... )..........
Obviously this called for thanking all Gods.........And so like a true devotee, I unwaveringly worshipped and thanked Barrons and my very own vocab builder software for giving me this edge above her .........
But today is different...... I feel like a bag full of gas that has been pricked and deflated ...... The very vocab I prided upon and its absence stares blatantly through this blog and laughs at me......
Today when I visited and read my old blogs, all I could find was repeat and over usage of words like ' serene', 'myriad', 'tranquil', 'vehemently', and many more......
Where were other new words..... ???? Do I write similar stuff that eludes the use of different genre / meaning of words or am I plain, simple incompetent to use new, better placed and more apt words......
I wonder where did those plentiful words that I once by-hearted disappear ..... I wonder if hippocampus played the culprit in this information loss while transiting them from short term to long term memory,,,,, or is my brain a lossy medium dissipating all this valuable information that is meant to be preciously stored and treasured........
Whatever the reason be, I feel dejected and saddened by the limited words i can use (or to phrase better, little words I know).... ..
So from today it is.......mugging Barrons' again.....endless games of scrabble...... repeat practice on vocab builder.......anything....
Anything to overcome this sad state... anything to be back in words,,,,, anything to belong once again to the elite group of knowledge mongers and English connoisseurs
I pray to Thee....."please give me back my vocab".....
Signing off with a SIGH......
